Zo they say.

Terribly important letters to fascinating people and curious objects!
This Tumblr was taken by force by Zoe Foster, hereby referred to as "me," or "I," or "Your festive highness."

If you'd like to read more of my Nonsense About Nothing, read my weekly page in Sunday Style magazine.

If you like tootin' round with makeup and hair, you will enjoy my beauty blog at fruitybeauty.com.au

If you want a whole awesome book on those things, you will love Amazing Face.

If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly dating column in Cosmopolitan magazine.

If you like being playfully, lovingly lectured for a whole book on such things, you will like Textbook Romance.

If you prefer effervescent novels, you will thoroughly enjoy Air Kisses and Playing the Field and The Younger Man.

If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au

If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.
  • December 29, 2012 9:07 pm
    Dear Meowio,
I just, I’m sorry, but I don’t know that you’ll be able to fix this leak from my washing machine. I’ve seen plumbers before, and you do not look like a plumber. For one, you didn’t even bring any tools.
Thanks all the same.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Meowio,

    I just, I’m sorry, but I don’t know that you’ll be able to fix this leak from my washing machine. I’ve seen plumbers before, and you do not look like a plumber. For one, you didn’t even bring any tools.

    Thanks all the same.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • November 11, 2012 1:46 pm

    Dear Amateur Taxidermists,

    Great job.

    From your friend,

    Zo

    (Source: akailolita)

  • July 20, 2012 7:32 pm
    Dear Cat Cutely Licking Rat,
You naughty, naughty things!
You’re disrupting decades of excellent cartoon rivalry with your friendship and cute kiss licking.
Stop it. STOP IT THIS VERY MOMENT.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Cat Cutely Licking Rat,

    You naughty, naughty things!

    You’re disrupting decades of excellent cartoon rivalry with your friendship and cute kiss licking.

    Stop it.
    STOP IT THIS VERY MOMENT.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: onlylolgifs)

  • July 9, 2012 8:32 pm
    Dear Sink Kitties,
Not cute enough.
Add shower caps.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Sink Kitties,

    Not cute enough.

    Add shower caps.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: andrewbreitel)

  • March 8, 2012 4:28 pm

    Dear Meowbert playing Tennis,

    GOOD.

    That’ll show people who think exotic shorthair cats are slow. Literally and mentally.

    (Except for the part where you are confused by the location of your matchstick and think it’s on your paw.)

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • November 22, 2011 9:50 pm
    Dear Cat Armchair Visual Pun,
Watch out! 
I see the hexes of a million jealous meme-creators on the horyezon!
From your friend,
Zoe View high resolution

    Dear Cat Armchair Visual Pun,

    Watch out!

    I see the hexes of a million jealous meme-creators on the horyezon!

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: atdevin)

  • November 18, 2011 5:56 pm
    Dear Cat Armchair,
Hahaha! 
What an appalling chair! What a hideously tacky excuse for furniture! You idiot!
I’ll take two.
From your friend,
Zoe View high resolution

    Dear Cat Armchair,

    Hahaha!

    What an appalling chair! What a hideously tacky excuse for furniture! You idiot!

    I’ll take two.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: axelmoved)

  • November 3, 2011 9:24 am

    Dear Talking Cat,

    Wanna listen to JUSTIN BIEBER’s Christmas album with me this afternoon?!?!!

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • October 30, 2011 1:18 pm
    Dear Excellent Tumblr Joke,
WHAT A TASTY LOL OF SOUP!!!!
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Excellent Tumblr Joke,

    WHAT A TASTY LOL OF SOUP!!!!

    From your friend,

    Zoe


    (Source: jennadaily)

  • October 25, 2011 12:15 pm
    emotionalholic:  Zoe Foster, i am bored and you are lovely. Could you please write me a song about how awesome kitten are? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? Thank you Zoe, big love, Gavin.

    Dear Gavin,

    I’m sorry to read that you are bored.

    As Mum always said, only boring people get bored, and as I said back to her, well, only boring children have boring mothers.

    I jest! She is of course a marvellously exciting and playful dame. Always has been.

    Now, your song:

    Kitty, ooooh, kitty!
    Tiny cat, all itty-bitty!

    Your eyes are big and your ears are pointed
    When you don’t get fed you are disappointed

    You play with fake mice and you wee in a tray
    I could watch you run into walls all day

    Take 7000 photos of you
    Put them up on Twitter, oooh

    Bore everyone with all the cute stuff you’ve done
    Wonder why I’m now friends with no-one

    But I don’t care because I’ve got my kitty,
    And being with you is never shitty
     
    Kitty, ooooh, kitty!
    My teeny tiny cat, all itty-bitty!
    Kitty, ooooh, kittyyyyyyyyy!


    From your friend,

    Zoe