Zo they say.

Terribly important letters to fascinating people and curious objects!
This Tumblr was taken by force by Zoe Foster, hereby referred to as "me," or "I," or "Your festive highness."

If you'd like to read more of my Nonsense About Nothing, read my weekly page in Sunday Style magazine.

If you like tootin' round with makeup and hair, you will enjoy my beauty blog at fruitybeauty.com.au

If you want a whole awesome book on those things, you will love Amazing Face.

If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly dating column in Cosmopolitan magazine.

If you like being playfully, lovingly lectured for a whole book on such things, you will like Textbook Romance.

If you prefer effervescent novels, you will thoroughly enjoy Air Kisses and Playing the Field and The Younger Man.

If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au

If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.
  • April 2, 2012 10:28 pm

    Dear Little Dog With Horse Head On,

    Not funny enough.

    Add saddle.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: octoberwaffle)

  • March 23, 2012 4:27 pm

    Dear Meowbert’s Writing Process,

    Well.  

    I can see exactly what’s happening here:

    1. You had a really terrific idea.

    2. You realise it’s actually the worst idea ever.

    3. You are disgusted with yourself.

    4. Finally, you have A Genuinely Good Idea.

    5. You type like a crazed fool.

    Honesty, it’s like watching myself in a mirror.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • March 8, 2012 4:28 pm

    Dear Meowbert playing Tennis,

    GOOD.

    That’ll show people who think exotic shorthair cats are slow. Literally and mentally.

    (Except for the part where you are confused by the location of your matchstick and think it’s on your paw.)

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • February 23, 2012 10:10 pm
    Dear Literal Batmobile,
Hear that?
That’s the sound of a million No Fucking Waaaays.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Literal Batmobile,

    Hear that?

    That’s the sound of a million No Fucking Waaaays.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: tastefullyoffensive)

  • December 19, 2011 8:39 am
    Dear Piglet Cuddling Stuffed Toy of a Piglet,
Not cute enough.
Add love heart graphics.
From your friend,
Zoe View high resolution

    Dear Piglet Cuddling Stuffed Toy of a Piglet,

    Not cute enough.

    Add love heart graphics.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: vegansaurus)

  • December 13, 2011 9:11 am

    Dear Shit Girls Say video,

    "Replay"

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: bestrooftalkever)

  • December 12, 2011 2:29 pm
    Dear Pun Toad,
Wart are you talking about?!
You have toadally lost me.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Pun Toad,

    Wart are you talking about?!

    You have toadally lost me.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: penishole)

  • November 25, 2011 11:48 am

    Dear Teeny Monkey Having a Shower With Your Teeny Teddy Friend,

    Not cute enough.

    Please add smile and/or wink.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • November 22, 2011 9:50 pm
    Dear Cat Armchair Visual Pun,
Watch out! 
I see the hexes of a million jealous meme-creators on the horyezon!
From your friend,
Zoe View high resolution

    Dear Cat Armchair Visual Pun,

    Watch out!

    I see the hexes of a million jealous meme-creators on the horyezon!

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: atdevin)