This Tumblr was taken by force by Zoe Foster, hereby referred to as “me,” or “I,” or “Your festive highness.” If you’d like to read more of my Nonsense About Nothing, read my weekly page in Sunday Style magazine. If you like tootin’ round with makeup and hair, you will enjoy my beauty blog at fruitybeauty.com.au If you want a whole awesome book on those things, you will love Amazing Face. If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly dating column in Cosmopolitan magazine. If you like being playfully, lovingly lectured for a whole book on such things, you will like Textbook Romance. If you prefer effervescent novels, you will thoroughly enjoy Air Kisses and Playing the Field and The Younger Man. If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.Tumblr (3.0; @zoefoster)http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/526d4c9873bbaf8fbf6476ebe0e90ef8/tumblr_mmwlsdSL9z1qlka8ko1_250.gif"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear GIF,</em></p> <p><em>You win.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/50618153015http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/50618153015Fri, 17 May 2013 11:15:00 +1000doggifanimationwonderful hi<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8eee0a10fef4b15f24ce020c94d0c0d6/tumblr_mm1jqueEy61rk74yho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Film Poster,</em></p> <p><em>Nailed it.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/49915727073http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/49915727073Wed, 08 May 2013 15:18:21 +1000<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/a4ef4df07327e86f7d63f02988a7081f/tumblr_mlpnvhY9ei1qe82j9o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Question/Statement,</em></p> <p><em>I’m taken but I sure do like the cut of your gib.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/48906702981http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/48906702981Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:41:41 +1000<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4XidgJdRs74?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Beach Boys Acapella,</em></p> <p><em>Terrific stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47735595445http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47735595445Fri, 12 Apr 2013 09:17:14 +1000beach boysi get aroundunpluggedvocalsacapellamagic<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9bw9fRHmy1qifzwao1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9bw9fRHmy1qifzwao2_r1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Gifs of Ellie and Carl from Up,</em></p> <p><em>Ohhhh… I never noticed it was the same church.</em></p> <p><em>And how come you’ve made me tear up when you’re just a couple of stupid Gifs? </em><em>Cut it out.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe </em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47440290679http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47440290679Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:17:29 +1000uppixartrue loveellie and carlohhhh<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/aa3a06201693b7f2bcfc1743cf82b4ed/tumblr_mkqgh9D0yZ1rwsx6co1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Movie Poster,</em></p> <p><em>Fingers crossed.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47134687161http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/47134687161Fri, 05 Apr 2013 08:24:29 +1100<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/bc708514316e09dd80ee729188019a8a/tumblr_mjm6ct9mDR1s1l4dfo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Mean Sloths,</em></p> <p><em>And I thought you guys were so cute.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend*,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p> <p><em>*Are we still friends? WB :) xo</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/45288475390http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/45288475390Thu, 14 Mar 2013 07:42:30 +1100<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo2_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo3_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo4_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo5_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo6_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m90p0tPVq71qd37yqo7_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Awkward Teenage Boys Going Through Puberty,</em></p> <p><em>Hang in there, guys.</em></p> <p><em>Look what might* lay ahead!</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p> <p><em>*MIGHT.</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/44565101261http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/44565101261Tue, 05 Mar 2013 08:41:32 +1100andrew garfieldpubertygood luck<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/fdc43cdf0b2619eae86152e0f4f3dee1/tumblr_miliu45pu31qbuo1zo1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/74b67e5d47a80483b86f3ebba5748fec/tumblr_miliu45pu31qbuo1zo2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/f57a174ec7f6544af790acae9d8b3f4e/tumblr_miliu45pu31qbuo1zo3_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/c9e6fa91474a4aaa772884e11d17a207/tumblr_miliu45pu31qbuo1zo4_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Baby Sloth Playing With A Flower,</em></p> <p><em>Your face and claw and flower-fiving-action just broke my heart into about a billion pieces so thanks a lot.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/43695127819http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/43695127819Fri, 22 Feb 2013 14:08:57 +1100slothsbaby slothslothheartbreakingly cute<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/075f01abac7fafc9be8b103de2a3dfa8/tumblr_mhlzjgiAeP1rbu9nwo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Headline,</em></p> <p><em>Yes.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/43293280774http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/43293280774Sun, 17 Feb 2013 17:32:32 +1100<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meh3cc5aWf1rgr0udo6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Anti-Rape Campaign,</em></p> <p><em>Excellent.</em></p> <p><em>May one billion re-blogs fall upon you.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/42895051070http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/42895051070Tue, 12 Feb 2013 14:05:31 +1100<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/de8ca238ec6e9d80ac1cf53660cad323/tumblr_mhcpuzuOSu1r4hqpno1_500.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/5bb9f28be65eb98ac422d7bad66f8af7/tumblr_mhcpuzuOSu1r4hqpno2_500.gif"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Monkey Hopping in a Snow Suit,</em></p> <p><em>Correct.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/42386533142http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/42386533142Wed, 06 Feb 2013 10:42:00 +1100monkeysnowsnow suithoppingparticularly awesome<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/176d14c1c575fe6be21f7831ee5aadf3/tumblr_mgz3epOoRm1qgp38go1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/86c1fc2a7b3b487b8f0ca06479617167/tumblr_mgz3epOoRm1qgp38go2_r1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/08926696d3f21099aa247a5102c6ca3f/tumblr_mgz3epOoRm1qgp38go3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/ea7a343ad25b7de2f35f9a1b91c01067/tumblr_mgz3epOoRm1qgp38go4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Fictional Wedding Photos We Took To Use On Our Wedding Program,</em></p> <p><em>Nice!</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p> <p><em>Ps Did you do your own hair and makeup? Pretty!</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/41096269192http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/41096269192Mon, 21 Jan 2013 22:18:00 +1100meowbertweddingbridehamish blakehot dresscatLOLcatdressedupcat in a tux<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/ede594d95941d671ff79924ead314ab7/tumblr_mfraghzeSg1qewacoo1_r1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><em>Dear Meowio,</em></p> <p><em>I just, I’m sorry, but I don’t know that you’ll be able to fix this leak from my washing machine. I’ve seen plumbers before, and you do <strong>not</strong> look like a plumber. For one, you didn’t even bring any tools.</em></p> <p><em>Thanks all the same.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/39118537129http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/39118537129Sat, 29 Dec 2012 21:07:39 +1100catsmario brosmamamia!<iframe width="400" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mk0wDbyKcSg?wmode=transparent&autohide=1&egm=0&hd=1&iv_load_policy=3&modestbranding=1&rel=0&showinfo=0&showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br/><br/><p><em><br/>Dear News Reporter,</em></p> <p><em>I’m so sorry, I didn’t catch your name.</em></p> <p><em>Again?</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35747109431http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35747109431Thu, 15 Nov 2012 13:20:04 +1100Dear Amateur Taxidermists, Great job. From your friend, Zo http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35454468322http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35454468322Sun, 11 Nov 2012 13:46:00 +1100taxidermycatsbearswhat's up<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcz23rHBOm1qewacoo7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Man Asking For A Simple Task To Be Done,</em></p> <p><em>Suntimes you’re just gonna get stitched up, I’m afraid.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35033217880http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/35033217880Mon, 05 Nov 2012 14:12:33 +1100the sunphotoshopsnort<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio2_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio3_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio4_r1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio5_r1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio6_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio7_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc3gcwi5cx1rifnrio8_r1_250.gif"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear People In This Photoset,</em></p> <p><em>I nose there is something amiss here, but I can’t quite pick what it is…</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/34278144960http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/34278144960Thu, 25 Oct 2012 14:42:15 +1100mary poppinsthe officestephen colbertryan reynoldsjason segalspidermannoses<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o3_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o4_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o5_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o6_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o7_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o8_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o9_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ztquoiUc1r111c4o10_400.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Parents of these Children,</em></p> <p><em>Well, you could’ve helped a bit more. </em></p> <p><em>These Halloween costumes are bit lame-o.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/33871422879http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/33871422879Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:27:45 +1100halloweenup movietin-tinedward scissorhandsthe jokerharry potterspoooooooky<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwyahp4Q851r5inpco1_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwyahp4Q851r5inpco2_500.jpg"/><br/> <br/><p><em>Dear Literal Joke,</em></p> <p><em>F yes! </em></p> <p><em>You just made my day.</em></p> <p><em>From your friend,</em></p> <p><em>Zoe</em></p>http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/33801894946http://zoefoster.tumblr.com/post/33801894946Thu, 18 Oct 2012 10:36:12 +1100literal humourF-word