Dear Ten Winners of Textbook Romance,
And here you are!
@jessihudsMum told me to spray perfume on a pillow in his bed, then if he cheated she’d know he had a girlf already
@abbeygelmi Facebook stalk The New Man pre-date so you can feign undying love for his Interests
@Acciomalfoyz Marry a rich husband so you don’t have to work.
@freerange_human Just hang around…he might dump his girlfriend and then realise you’re right there
@babycakequeen Don’t waste time getting an education, you will only forget it when you are changing the nappies of his babies!
@sarahlouisedob He hasn’t returned your text message from 2 days ago so call him just to confirm the dinner details
@ali_h7 Give him an ultimatum - Marry me or lose me
@eliza_beth_phan Try not to seem too intelligent around guys. They’ll be intimidated & won’t find you attractive
@alisha_testa It is better to marry a plain/average looking partner, because they are less likely to leave you
And my personal favourite: @genkerin But he has a speedboat
I’m so deeply sorry you have all been subjected to such shitty love advice.
On the plus side, it won you a book of not-shitty love advice, so it’s not all soggy shoes and delayed flights.
Now please email my publicist - Chantelle.Sturt@au.penguingroup.com - to give her your postal details. And obviously, immediately forget the advice you were given to win this competition.
From your friend,