Zo they say.

Terribly important letters to fascinating people and curious objects!
This Tumblr was taken by force by Zoe Foster, hereby referred to as "me," or "I," or "Your festive highness."

If you'd like to read more of my Nonsense About Nothing, read my weekly page in Sunday Style magazine.

If you like tootin' round with makeup and hair, you will enjoy my beauty blog at fruitybeauty.com.au

If you want a whole awesome book on those things, you will love Amazing Face.

If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly dating column in Cosmopolitan magazine.

If you like being playfully, lovingly lectured for a whole book on such things, you will like Textbook Romance.

If you prefer effervescent novels, you will thoroughly enjoy Air Kisses and Playing the Field and The Younger Man.

If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au

If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.
  • July 12, 2012 9:43 pm
    Dear Ten Winners of Textbook Romance,
And here you are!
@jessihudsMum told me to spray perfume on a pillow in his bed, then if he cheated she’d know he had a girlf already
@abbeygelmi Facebook stalk The New Man pre-date so you can feign undying love for his Interests 
@Acciomalfoyz Marry a rich husband so you don’t have to work.  
@freerange_human Just hang around…he might dump his girlfriend and then realise you’re right there
@babycakequeen Don’t waste time getting an education, you will only forget it when you are changing the nappies of his babies!
@sarahlouisedob He hasn’t returned your text message from 2 days ago so call him just to confirm the dinner details 
@ali_h7 Give him an ultimatum - Marry me or lose me
@eliza_beth_phan Try not to seem too intelligent around guys. They’ll be intimidated & won’t find you attractive 
@alisha_testa It is better to marry a plain/average looking partner, because they are less likely to leave you
And my personal favourite: @genkerin But he has a speedboat 
I’m so deeply sorry you have all been subjected to such shitty love advice.
On the plus side, it won you a book of not-shitty love advice, so it’s not all soggy shoes and delayed flights.
Now please email my publicist - Chantelle.Sturt@au.penguingroup.com - to give her your postal details. And obviously, immediately forget the advice you were given to win this competition.
From your friend,
Zoe
View high resolution

    Dear Ten Winners of Textbook Romance,

    And here you are!

    @jessihudsMum told me to spray perfume on a pillow in his bed, then if he cheated she’d know he had a girlf already

    @abbeygelmi Facebook stalk The New Man pre-date so you can feign undying love for his Interests 

    @Acciomalfoyz Marry a rich husband so you don’t have to work.  

    @freerange_human Just hang around…he might dump his girlfriend and then realise you’re right there

    @babycakequeen Don’t waste time getting an education, you will only forget it when you are changing the nappies of his babies!

    @sarahlouisedob He hasn’t returned your text message from 2 days ago so call him just to confirm the dinner details 

    @ali_h7 Give him an ultimatum - Marry me or lose me

    @eliza_beth_phan Try not to seem too intelligent around guys. They’ll be intimidated & won’t find you attractive 

    @alisha_testa It is better to marry a plain/average looking partner, because they are less likely to leave you

    And my personal favourite: @genkerin But he has a speedboat 

    I’m so deeply sorry you have all been subjected to such shitty love advice.

    On the plus side, it won you a book of not-shitty love advice, so it’s not all soggy shoes and delayed flights.

    Now please email my publicist - Chantelle.Sturt@au.penguingroup.com - to give her your postal details. And obviously, immediately forget the advice you were given to win this competition.

    From your friend,

    Zoe


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