Zo they say.

Terribly important letters to fascinating people and curious objects!
This Tumblr was taken by force by Zoe Foster, hereby referred to as "me," or "I," or "Your festive highness."

If you'd like to read more of my Nonsense About Nothing, read my weekly page in Sunday Style magazine.

If you like tootin' round with makeup and hair, you will enjoy my beauty blog at fruitybeauty.com.au

If you want a whole awesome book on those things, you will love Amazing Face.

If you like to read about relationships and dating, you will like my monthly dating column in Cosmopolitan magazine.

If you like being playfully, lovingly lectured for a whole book on such things, you will like Textbook Romance.

If you prefer effervescent novels, you will thoroughly enjoy Air Kisses and Playing the Field and The Younger Man.

If you like fantastic websites about people named Zoe Foster, go to zoefoster.com.au

If you do not like any of these things, no offence, but you are a moron.
  • November 15, 2012 1:20 pm


    Dear News Reporter,

    I’m so sorry, I didn’t catch your name.

    Again?

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • November 11, 2012 1:46 pm

    Dear Amateur Taxidermists,

    Great job.

    From your friend,

    Zo

    (Source: gotbucky)

  • November 5, 2012 2:12 pm

    Dear Man Asking For A Simple Task To Be Done,

    Suntimes you’re just gonna get stitched up, I’m afraid.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: tastefullyoffensive)

  • October 25, 2012 2:42 pm

    Dear People In This Photoset,

    I nose there is something amiss here, but I can’t quite pick what it is…

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: gifarium)

  • October 19, 2012 1:27 pm

    Dear Parents of these Children,

    Well, you could’ve helped a bit more.

    These Halloween costumes are bit lame-o.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: luaarodrigues)

  • October 18, 2012 10:36 am

    Dear Literal Joke,

    F yes!

    You just made my day.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: dayumbebe)

  • October 17, 2012 11:04 am

    Dear Henry Thomas Auditioning for Elliot in E.T.,

    Not convincing enough.

    … Actually, you know what?

    Convincing enough.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

  • October 10, 2012 11:46 am
    Dear Bill Clinton Not Getting a Kiss From Hillary,
Put that in your sax and blow it.
From your friend,
Zoe

    Dear Bill Clinton Not Getting a Kiss From Hillary,

    Put that in your sax and blow it.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: ForGIFs.com)

  • October 2, 2012 12:56 pm
    Dear Corn Chips in a Grinder,
Shut up, whatever, who cares; LET’S DO SALT AND VINEGAR NOW.
From your friend,
Zoe View high resolution

    Dear Corn Chips in a Grinder,

    Shut up, whatever, who cares; LET’S DO SALT AND VINEGAR NOW.

    From your friend,

    Zoe

    (Source: BuzzFeed)

  • September 29, 2012 10:08 pm
    thisgirldoes:  To the newly-crowned Fun Fearless Female of The Year, I do believe your first job as reigning queen should be to inform us all of your make up and hair secrets from the evening because, dammit, you looked fierce! The nude lip, the 60's-style eye, the perfect length long bob...I loved it all. Please tell, I beg of you. Love, A Zoe-Foster-Wannabe P.S. Congratulations ;)

    Dear thisgirldoes,

    Thank you for your congratulations and your kind message!

    Thank you, all of you. Thank you for the lovely messages on Twitter and also very much for voting. As anyone who saw my teary, babbling acceptance speech (I was very pleased with myself for winning Fun Fearless Author and had settled luxuriously into a few glasses of delicious white wine, not thinking for three burps I would be required to speak again) will testify, I was utterly shocked and completely floored to have won. 

    And well I should be: The Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Woman of the Year Award is a TREMENDOUS accolade, and the women I was up against - like Samantha Wills, Ricki-Lee Coulter, Sam Stosur, Fifi Box, Annabelle Chauncy, and Rachael Taylor, are each fantastically talented, impressive, successful, strong dames. I was thrilled just to be nominated.

    I am wildly flattered and intensely honoured to be considered a fun and fearless woman, I can’t think of a more delightful or desirable title. Having fun and seeking out the joy in life is a key driver for me (as well as the foundation of my work) and trusting my gut, and going with my intuition, (my understanding/interpretation of fearlessness) is behind every single decision I make. (This is a new-ish thing, took years to understand how important it is to listen to it.)

    Women are very, very wonderful, and the more we can support each other, and enthuse a foundation of fun and fearlessness within all that we do, professionally and personally and with nail polish choice, the more we all stand to gain, and enjoy. There’s enough pie for all of us, you need never worry that helping someone else achieve their success will diminish your chance or level of success.

    But enough pie talk. I’m always talking about pie. Stop asking me about pie all the time.

    On to makeup and hair!

    I had my makeup done at the glamorous Napoleon Perdis Life.Style store in Woollahra by Shanny, and she was (swearword) fantastic. I asked for a black lashline smoky eye (so, not over the whole eye - too heavy for my eyes) and a tonne of single false lashes. Some glowing skin and nude lips completed, as you rightly point out, my homage to sixties dolls.

    Blowdry was by Joe at Original A salon - the new Oxford St salon by the crew behind O&M products and colour, and the owners of Paddington institution Atlantis. I asked for it to be styled and blow-dried down over my face. I always do. I like little hair curtains where possible. There was bit more curl and height originally, but the strong wind shat all over that sadly.

    Also I had a spray tan at the Benefit boutique and of course, a session of Omnilux to get my skin glowing.

    So, just really low maintenance in all.

    Thank you again for your message, thisgirldoes.

    From your friend,

    Zoe